D-Day

Wednesday, January 20th was a day that changed my life. There have been others, and I am sure there will be more. But in my recent history as a young woman, this day changed my life in ways I could not fully understand then, and still, quite possibly, understand now. I call this D-Day: Diagnosis Day.

Before January 20th the word gluten sounded like one of the seven deadly sins; wheat was only mentioned when asked, "white or wheat bread, ma'am;" and barley---well, I could have sworn that was the name of the drunk guy in the Simpsons. I lived a life of what I now call food-convenience, grabbing sandwich/fastfood lunches several times a week, dining out with reckless abandon and chowing down on any tasty pre-packaged snack food. I loved, no, adored bread in all it's magnificence forms, and even remember telling my husband in our first year of marriage, "No dinner is complete without a bread." French, Italian, roll, crescent---it did not matter it's shape nor nationality, I loved bread. And, in that moment my bread-basket life came to a screeching halt.

"Sarah, I have been trying to get in touch with you all week. We have your biopsy results back. Sarah, have you heard of celiac disease?"

"Yes, I have heard of it."

"We need to make you an appointment to come back in to talk with someone."

I hung up the phone after making a return appointment and my to-do list that sat before me got shoved to the side. One thing was on my mind....and on my Internet search. Google "celiac." Google "gluten free." Google "treatment of celiac." Google "causes of celiac." Google "symptoms of celiac." Google "what the hell can I eat if I have celiac?"

Tears welled up in my eyes as I ran through a laundry list of things I can't eat anymore....no more bread, pasta, turkey stuffing, pies, cakes, my dad's oatmeal cookies, my mom's quiche, my grandmother's red velvet cake, Papa Johns pizza, oh! and no more Krispy Kreme donuts!! I was intoxicated by the list of "can't have" to the point where the room was spinning and food all of the sudden gained superiority over me. I felt, immediately confined and restricted. I felt my body was betraying me and food tricking me. It's like finding out your loved one has been lying to you for years and now has condemned you to a life of mistrust.

I called my parents and my husband. This is going to change all of our realities. If we believe the assumption that we create our own realities, ours is getting ready to undergo some major reconstruction.